Keep up and Share it

I stutter a lot. In my mind. I have difficulties reporting to my boss about a phone conversation. I have trouble recalling a book I read to someone. I go mind blank when I try to recollect my travel adventures to my friends.

I take a long time to recall what happened, organise my thoughts, select the share-worthy points and to make them interesting.

I can't hold conversations long especially when it's a group conversation. Because I take a long time to think of a proper response. But if it's something funny, I can throw it out pretty fast and the response are good. I probably talk shallow better.

But I like to write. I like how I can have the luxury of time to share the depths of my thoughts. I am really comfortable with taking my time to think and write.

Then again, I observed that the world does not have the time for every single detail inside my brain. Boss does not need so much background. Friends do not have the camera roll of my life. In fact, no one needs to have. And strangers, needless to say, have no obligations or whatsoever to stop and listen to me.

It has got to do with the speed the world is moving, I suppose. As a city gets more urbanised, people tend to move faster. I used to hate fast and having to keep up. But if I don’t, I can’t share what I have.

So perhaps, the gap between speed and contents is something I have to work on.

Some details here and there probably suffice. Background may not be necessary. Thinking doesn’t have to be done after listening. It can be done in between, or a mixture of in betweens and afters. Because listening to the moment is still the sincere way to responding to something.

As for sharing what I’d love to share, I could come up with a system of sharing stuff…like start with a quick summary of a story I just finished reading, speak slowly, have ups and downs, conflicts and resolutions, and bring in people into my conversation. Use inviting body language.

It might seem tiring, but I could view it as a way to live more consciously and gain awareness of myself…