客厅展示柜的收藏

庆祝新加坡建国五十周年的一系列金禧活动，在十一月底的金禧嘉年华会呈现了亮丽的句点。嘉年华在

滨海浮动舞台上举行，展示了大型充气塑像如樟宜机场和龙头游乐场，以及多媒体的投影和来自多个门派的艺术家的作品，当中包括诗歌、绘画、艺术装置、电影等。大型装置相当受访客的青睐，公众在装置前连连自拍。就有一个展览区吸引的是讨论多过拍照。

我先是注意到这一座座约两米高、五米长的白色长方块。由内发出的白光将印在长方块前后两面的照片照得栩栩如生。先是看到一排排千篇一律的高楼政府组屋，然后是一系列的客厅照。摄影师想借由组屋客厅的一幕，表达出方方块块的组屋楼单位里头丰富的生活气息。

许多家庭都以一般的全家福照形式拍照 - 长辈坐在椅子或沙发上，晚辈站着，小过五岁的小朋友坐在长辈的大腿上，觉地板最自在的，便盘坐在地板上或把双脚伸得长长，背部依靠在爸爸妈妈的双脚。有些家庭穿着颜色设计相同的T恤。当然也有包括独居一屋的单身人士。大家脸上或挂着灿烂笑容，或认真地凝视着镜头。

英语常言道：“人，构成一个地方。”除了背景多元化的人物，客厅照系列也表达了一个地方的存在感，也在于它所包括的物品。一间间的客厅似乎少不了桌子椅子、沙发地毯、照片玩具等。更细致的观察，会发现每间客厅的某个角落都坐落着一架展示柜，陈列了琳琅满目的收藏品。想必摄影师对展示柜里头的东西充满好奇心，几座长方块就专门把展示柜里头放大展示出来。

收藏的物件各式各样，基本上都富有鲜明的特色，比如涂上中国画的陶瓷花瓶、穿白袍留长胡蓄的书生瓷像。很多类似的物件摆在一起就成了一系列的艺术展示品。此外，还有相当具有个人象征性的收藏，比如在学校夺冠的讲座、旅游时的一道风景、或者是披上毕业袍和家人合拍的全家福。比较无厘头的也有 - 例如玻璃瓶装的可口可乐，品牌纸上印着泰文，还有一个我从未见过的比一般塑料瓶装的可乐还要矮还要胖的瓶子。收藏，其实和旅行差别不大。收藏久了，累积多了，就能发现一般人不曾看见的东西，和建造别人做不到的收藏堡垒。收藏的基本条件就是耐心，和漫长的时间。

心理专家指出，收藏者的迷恋是很正常的现象，而且原因广泛。收藏东西的习惯可追朔到我们童年时经济能力有限时，当我们收到心的玩具时，占有东西给了我们强烈的优越感，造成了所谓的“禀赋效应”。对于某些收藏家，收藏是自我认知的延伸，收藏的东西藏匿着收藏者的个性影子。比起对话，观察一位收藏者收藏的物件、如何时候藏、如何摆设、花费的心思，也许更能了解一个人的个性。毕竟收藏是做的“事”，并且更为实在。

那摆在客厅的展示柜又有何意义？相信原因因收藏者的个性而异。有的收藏家将中华人物的塑像摆在神台下，添置了一层薄薄的禅意。摆出奖杯和照片的，也许就是简单地想纪念那几段美好岁月，在时间的长河下立下一些浮标。大致上是为了在客厅这共同空间，涂上一些个人色彩，和家人分享。把收藏品摆在客厅，提醒自己在外头无论需要蒙上多少副面纱应付挑战，看看收藏的物件，便能一点点地恢复自己。

梦中梦

《梦中梦》

亲
吻上眉梢
离别之际
允我扪心承认

你没错，即如你所言
往日如梦
随风
飘散

但
昼夜间飞逝的
眨眼间消失的希望
是否
遗留下几分存在

曾经看似或相似的一切
都是梦中梦



浪潮猛的拍案
我立足于岸面上

我手中握着颗颗闪烁的散沙
悄悄漏出指缝间
至深渊
我对着抛弃我的沙粒
哭泣

天啊，我难道无法紧紧捉住沙儿吗？
天啊，我难道无法救赎仅仅一颗沙儿吗？


曾经看似或相似的一切
是否都是梦中梦



取自Edgar Allen Poe的名师“A Dream Within A Dream”
献给朋友YW的圣诞节礼物

Keep up and Share it

I stutter a lot. In my mind. I have difficulties reporting to my boss about a phone conversation. I have trouble recalling a book I read to someone. I go mind blank when I try to recollect my travel adventures to my friends.

I take a long time to recall what happened, organise my thoughts, select the share-worthy points and to make them interesting.

I can't hold conversations long especially when it's a group conversation. Because I take a long time to think of a proper response. But if it's something funny, I can throw it out pretty fast and the response are good. I probably talk shallow better.

But I like to write. I like how I can have the luxury of time to share the depths of my thoughts. I am really comfortable with taking my time to think and write.

Then again, I observed that the world does not have the time for every single detail inside my brain. Boss does not need so much background. Friends do not have the camera roll of my life. In fact, no one needs to have. And strangers, needless to say, have no obligations or whatsoever to stop and listen to me.

It has got to do with the speed the world is moving, I suppose. As a city gets more urbanised, people tend to move faster. I used to hate fast and having to keep up. But if I don’t, I can’t share what I have.

So perhaps, the gap between speed and contents is something I have to work on.

Some details here and there probably suffice. Background may not be necessary. Thinking doesn’t have to be done after listening. It can be done in between, or a mixture of in betweens and afters. Because listening to the moment is still the sincere way to responding to something.

As for sharing what I’d love to share, I could come up with a system of sharing stuff…like start with a quick summary of a story I just finished reading, speak slowly, have ups and downs, conflicts and resolutions, and bring in people into my conversation. Use inviting body language.

It might seem tiring, but I could view it as a way to live more consciously and gain awareness of myself… 

Sensory Writing

How do we bring in readers into the experiences of a travel writer? Through sharing of the feelings and emotions of the writer. With some brevity and recount of thought processes, it's easy to bring in the reader into our world. Then again, thoughts and feelings are highly subjective. What's impactful to you might not be as significant to another...senses, however, are more agreeable across the board.

I was stuck writing the chapter on “Cape No. 7” for my Taiwan travel journal and had a writers' block. I started to doubt the value of narrating the places I've seen while trying to recollect the venues the movie had filmed at. If readers had seen the movie, they could have some recollections. But for those who didn't, how could I engage their senses? 

I then remembered Mo Yan and his literary style. His advice is to appeal to all the senses of the human, not just what we see. A wind can be described with the hollow-sounding echoes that tickled our ears, or the fragrance of the lavender it ferried over. 

I could probably use a similar sensory approach to this chapter by weaving in the soundtracks and descriptive lyrics along with it. And history of a place gives it its life...I should add that in too.

I should do more research and homework before writing this chapter. If I want to write about it as a fan, I might as well do all I can to introduce all the movie has to offer.

拒绝发展

民丹岛上建有不少度假村。从新加坡丹娜美拉渡轮码头乘坐一小时的船程就能抵达，旅游旺季时特别受国人欢迎。岛上最近兴建的度假村坐落在岛东部，下船后坐上一小时的接驳车技能抵达。

旅游淡季则是在十一月至三月之间，因为那期间正逢季候雨季，阳光和乌云随着涨潮退潮来去不定。我刚抵达时正式退潮阶段，海岸尽是一片沼泽地。度假村的服务员告知，所有水上活动基本上都无法进行，除了夜晚的红树林郊游。于是我报名了。

导游操作着摩托船带我们游览当地的渔村 (Kawal)，经过大小不一的渔船时，他解说个别船上的捕鱼用具和仪器依据鱼类而设，所以大船用来抓金枪鱼，小船抓江鱼仔。还有称为“基隆”的渔船屋，加以改装后，便有能力航至深海区域内捕鱼。没有捕鱼的日子，基隆便扎根在渔村湖泊边上，过日子。导游说，在印尼，不乏以捕鱼为生的人，但坚守住屋和渔船为一体的渔村已逐渐式微。

似屋似船的基隆。

岛民的生活方式相当原始。靠岸的岛民的水源来自陆地的城市区，靠海的呢，因为缺乏水管连接，所以水源来自降雨时储存下来的雨水。雨量低的季节里，村里的妇女都得乘船到四十公里外的城区井口打水。

岛民都过惯了这种生活方式。99%的岛民都是渔夫。捕鱼的收入不稳，长辈都借此为由，吓唬不用功念书的孩子。不过，不鼓励孩子的也有一营，因为读不读书，日子照样过。大人看不到念书的意义。

教学率是衡量国家发展程度的指标之一。以当今发达科技的应用性和普及化，渔村的出产量难以和大量繁殖的工业渔场较量。在经济发展方面，渔村显得落后与世界的速度。也许他们选择不跟风。也许发展的好处对他们毫无吸引力。也许他们爱海爱捕鱼多过爱产量。也或许，发展就是将渔民生活方式一代代地传下去。经济发展是一个选择，他们选择拒绝。

夜晚中，红树林的倩影逼近。导游带我们寻觅黄光萤火虫的踪影。回程路上，我们称赞导游年纪轻轻，口才又佳，当导游一年就能练出一口流利英语，和旅客交谈。结伴的旅客问年仅二十的导游未来长远打算，想从事怎样的行业。旅客不解导游的回复，于是加问说：“你应该不会一辈子就做导游这行业吧？”

导游的回复说：“我可能就像一辈子做这事儿”。

那有什么不妥呢？

遛狗

老妈一向很抗拒溜狗时不带狗链。她不知道有罚款这一回事，她是担心狗狗一旦玩得兴奋起来，会跑丢，很难追回。老妈的右膝盖都过手术，行走本来就不方便，追不上狗狗的顾虑可以理解。我正好相反，溜狗时刻意不带狗链，不是因为跑步速度超越狗狗逃跑的速度，而是为了想给他更多自由。狗狗成天呆在家中，虽然有充裕的空间给她跑给她跳，但毕竟还是局限在组屋里的四面墙和天花板的框框里。看不到宽天白云，摸不着绿草棕木。

狗狗很活泼，耳朵很敏锐。和我们相处了十多年，已经和我们建立了一库共同语汇了。该冲凉时，叫“bom bom” ；模仿枪击声时，她会应声倒下装受伤（这是老二苦练出来的）；该出门溜狗时，叫 “gai gai”。语汇都套用婴儿语汇，在同样的情况下重复使用，狗狗很快就熟悉过来。对于出门遛狗的口令，她最灵敏。若站在铁门外喊口令，她会竖起双耳，把头摆一旁，然后三步并作两步跑向门口，甚至挤身穿过铁门。进入电梯后，狗狗则站稳一地，尾巴却像汽车马达似的快速摇摆。电梯门打开的前几秒，她会迫不及待地用前爪奋力抓着门口，虽然抓或不抓，门口还会顺着机械一样打开。

打开后，她头也不回地跑完整道走廊。我第一次不带狗链时也被吓一跳，猛力地追。之后，我察觉到狗狗跑了一阵子后，会偶尔停下来，闻闻花儿，嗅嗅草儿，不会像斗牛见红一样不知该几时停下。所以，我也相对地开始节省力气，只要她保持在我的视线范围内就好。

我也和狗狗“达成共识” - 我不用狗链套她，但若她跑得太远，我会语气放得狠一些，命令她回来。在那发生之前，我都会“指挥”方向，引领她避开停车场和马路旁的人行道。实行了轻微的“指导原则”和严厉的“安全措施”，没有狗链的狗狗能自由地奔跑，也没有走丢。

但老妈还有多一门顾虑。没有狗链，怎么防止她意外咬人/狗？

相反的，狗狗在溜狗的时候变得更加友善。每当路过同样在溜狗的邻居，她都会主动上前互相嗅嗅或擦擦鼻子，几乎像个名媛似的。更积极的时候，她还会尾随着别条狗抛下我不管。我也通过狗狗的社交主动，多认识了一些邻居和一位爱猫爱狗人士。

回想那第一次把狗链留在家里时，在电梯里，狗狗就已经开始主动社交，靠近同坐一架电梯里的阿姨。阿姨错以为狗狗有攻击性的倾向，破口大骂要我马上把狗狗抱起来。我当时是皱着眉头木讷地随从，也怀疑不带狗链是否会遭路人冷眼对待。幸好，看到行人、跑步人士对着狗狗微笑和打招呼，我知道我的担忧是多余的。也许，享受自由的表情其实是一种很帅、很吸引人的表情吧。

最后一门顾虑，是拉屎小便。环境局千交代万交代不能让宠物随地方便。这点我倒是有准备。每回溜狗时，我都自备纸巾和塑料袋为宝贝狗狗“拾屎”。至于尿液，若狗狗示意要在道路上小便，我会把他赶到草地上给予植物该有的滋润。万事都有备。

Make it burn enough

I ever had this conversation with a friend about ‘passion’. I put forth that passion is something that you have to work on to ‘make yourself like it’, otherwise it’ll falter away after some time. He was slightly dumbfounded: “What do you mean by that? If you truly am passionate about something, why do you need to ‘make yourself like it’?” A logical extension to his point would be “maybe you aren’t really passionate about it after all”, often from the mouths of the energised souls who have found their passion.

And he's one of them.

My friend is passionate about teaching. He earns a decent income as a tuition teacher and from what he shared of students who showed improvements over the years and the years his ‘disciples’ have been following him, I know that he’s making a difference. And his passion was genuine, not a duplicate of his counterparts and certainly nothing near NATO (no-action-talk-only).

He's clearly passionate because he's working on his passion. Some of us could wandering at a stage prior to where he's at, try to make sure what we are trying is what we really like to do.

And that's a stage of affirmation which I feel is a necessary one. Why? Because we are not born with our true calling. Because we are not born knowing what we are exactly good at. Because we are born into a world without the luxury of having to do one thing in our whole lives. Because we are born to explore. There's a reason that got you started on something. If you drop it solely 'cause of work involved, that's failing to try, which is worse than failing to succeed. 

A state of uncertainty about our passions could arise from a lack of enough time for it to unfold its possibilities. Passion needs time to take form. And that duration is way more than it takes to swipe a page on our smartphone.

How to affirm our passion? Here are what I feel we could try which I hope could mean a thing or two to finding what you truly love to do.

Try a crash course. Say you're passionate about farming. Try heading to Choa Chu Kang on a Saturday morning and engage in some farming activities. See if you like what you learn. After that, if you'd rather laze in bed or go cafe-hopping with your buddies, maybe farming is not the thing for you.

Take up a regular course. If you like an activity, naturally you'll want to be good at it. Because excellence gratifies your efforts. The more you practice, the better you are, and if this betterment makes you happy, you're on the right track.

Or try doing it yourself. If your interest is a slightly isolated craft lacking in available courses (such as kite-flying), the way to affirm your interest for it is to try it out yourself. Count on yourself, and do the next step.

Read up and network. Like skills betterment, knowledge makes a pursuit of a passion interesting. Say you like cycling, and derives deep fulfilment from it, hit up a library or meet new people to exchange insights and learn what is it about cycling that keeps them going. Their motivations could resonate with you too.

Share it after you've tried the above. Passion rubs off people. If you could talk about something, it's an indication.

But don't share it before. Contrary to the advocates to share with your close friends and family about your business idea, I would suggest the opposite when you're exploring your passion. "I want to try out scuba-diving", so say you. How many people would douse you with well-meaning safety precautions (which would better be advised by the professionals)? Unless, of course, support from your loved ones mean a lot to you, but I feel that the key support and strength should come from within yourself. After all, you're trying out your passion for your own sake. 

Let your passion fight it out with priorities. Spend 10,000 hours and you'll be truly good at something. How much time are you willing to invest in crafting your passion? Are you willing to put it before your hangout times with friends or Sunday afternoon me-time? If you engage in your passion daily after work or burn a weekend for it, you have definitely have my respect for it =]

Perhaps there isn’t much of a difference between making yourself like something and working to sustain your own passion. Whether you're affirmative about your passion already, there's work to be done to start and carry on that passion.

I like to think that we're born with a few baby bonfires to sustain throughout our lifetime. Fire needs oxygen and flammable materials to burn. Without throwing in more firewood, we'll never know how bright could the bonfire raze up to. We have to try out a few bonfires before we know which lit-up view are we most comfortable with. 

Passion is a lifelong work. The purposeful ones would put in some work first before snuffing out the flame.