Taiwan and India

Taiwan – Spontaneous trust to acquaintances

I started experiencing true cultural exchange when I cycled around Kaohsiung by myself in Taiwan, stopping to observe the roadside hawkers, speaking to an elderly by the Fisherman’s wharf, and cycled with the population to feel what it means to be a Taiwanese. I got no trouble navigating in a new land, I got a good command of Chinese but without the warmth and friendliness of Taiwanese, and the spontaneous trust they gave to strangers who approached them, I wouldn’t be able to explore much of Taiwan. I was lost in Ximending trying to locate a famous noodles stall, along the way every single stranger I spoke to gave me lots of directions and help. I was very touched. As I reflect, the culture of keenness in sharing and helping others developed myself – I was very introverted about sharing my personal interests, hobbies, ambitions and goals - but the culture in Taiwan got me opened up more courageously to people around me.

India – No camera-day

Before I went to Developing a keen sense of observance to the streets, buildings, architectures and trying to find a reason why. Most of the time I would be fascinated by the reason.

To me, experiencing cultural differences is one thing, what matters to me more is how I make this experience a part of me. I went to STEER India and witnessed that some of the biggest corporations started at grassroot level, without government provisions. They are successful because they are led by their own people – social enterprise AMUL (Ahmedabad Milk Union Limited) elected its Board of Directors from the farmers who reared and milked the buffalo. They were able to self organise and develop rapidly without government control. Drawing a parallel to my experiences in working on projects, sometimes efficient management need not involve an external agent/ project manager to control every single step, right from the start, it’s more important to place the leadership onto the group of people who feels the most ownership of the products/ services delivered. For AMUL, it’s the farmers who milked the buffalos that have a stake in the organisation because all the milk products are derived from their hardwork.

I want to be...

Someday, I hope to be an inspiring figure.

Someone who inspires the people around me and influence for a good cause.

多多回家吃晚饭

妈妈很爱下厨，我们当然也很爱吃。每逢放学回家，打开饭锅，饭香飘溢，我都会像饿鬼般的把炒芥兰、水蒸皮蛋混鸡蛋、猪肉炒洋葱圈一汤匙接一汤匙的填满饭碗。然后坐在三房式的旧家厨房，在傍晚时分。黄昏夕阳透过大门照进厨房里，吃起饭来很是窝心。

那是小时候。虽然从小就没什么定时大家一起聚在餐桌上，因为双亲工作，兄弟上学课业课外活动都忙（还好有阿公在，也不至于小时候的我们回家时无个长辈陪伴），但是，尽可的话，都会饿着肚子回家吃晚饭。就算迟回家，饭菜凉了，我还是会把饭碗塞满妈妈准备的每一道菜。

妈妈的厨艺我们一向赞不绝口，就连干捞茄酱快熟面配蛋花汤都非凡的好吃。大哥都三番五次给妈妈强心针，说如果妈妈开小贩摊位卖煮炒，一定会生意兴隆。

有一回，老弟独挑大梁炒了三菜一汤，大家吃了赞不绝口，有说有笑。老弟说，看着大家那么开心的吃饭，其实下厨的自己更是开心。因为看着自己准备的家常菜紧紧维系着一家人的感情，想必这种温馨的感觉是这世间任何事物都无法取代的。

长大后，发现每日的剩饭剩菜越来越多，有时收进冰箱后被遗忘结果食物变质，扔掉的饭菜也愈来愈多。三菜一汤的“时代”已过，于是，妈妈改变策略，专煮耐久易热的如炒饭、焖饭等。我应该是在那段期间爱上妈妈的马铃薯炒饭。

现在，老哥们努力工作，傍晚后不是加班就是当兼职学生；上大学的我在学期时住在校舍；老弟在当兵。加上妈妈现在做晚班，时间不方便准备晚饭。渐渐的，晚饭在不知不觉中从我们生活中消失，毕竟日子照样过，晚饭我们照样可在外头得以解决，也习惯了。不过，妈妈还是会早早起身，煎几粒荷包蛋或水煮蛋让我们吃饱早餐迎接一天的挑战。

我发现到，不论是小时候或长大后，都是妈妈在迁就着我们的生活作息，我们则不自觉的忽略妈妈的一番用心。要找理由很容易，时间不够工作繁忙，但妈妈也工作也赚钱还替我们做家务。她每天都为我们在着想。所以我们的理由是很容易沦为借口的。


最近，我发现妈妈开始厌倦下厨，即使是在周末。“怎么煮？都没有人吃。”妈妈无奈的感叹。因为纵使是周末，我们也不一定都在家。可是，当我提起很久没尝到的卤肉、咖哩鸡、和超爱吃的马铃薯炒饭，妈妈还是会咪着眼笑，然后道：“要吃啊？要吃妈妈煮咯。”

其实，妈妈不是不爱煮了，只是不忍心看到为家人准备的晚餐失去了维系一家人的魅力。一道道家常菜似乎无法像以往那样让彼此品尝到家的融洽和温馨。

开学了，要回到校舍住。一星期下来也许只有周末才能抽空回家一趟。所幸，在开学以前还能和一家人看部动画电影，在新旺香港茶餐厅吃一餐。回家途中，平时只顾着万字票和博彩的老爸还贴心提醒：“开学后一定要定时抽空回来看看老妈，吃吃饭、聊聊天”。尽管三菜一汤很难让大家一起团聚，不过对他们老人家，在家用餐仍然意义重大，可谓齐家之本。

所以，记得多多回家吃饭，现在、以后都要花心思维持这习惯。

Accepting differences, not tolerating

Acknowledging differences of your friends is the first step to building a friendship; acceptance of differences is the key to sustaining it in the long run.

I'm past the stage whereby I tolerate my friends differences. Tolerance is too passive. Acceptance is more proactive approach to sustaining a relationship, I feel. I guess I'm more aware of myself now, so I've learnt to accept, rather than condemn differences.

This acceptance has to be mutual though. Through sharing of each others' life, we discover each others' differences.

I accepted that TM has got a few well-defined traits:

That he commands high pocket money n looks down on people who needs to think twice before buying supper;

That he loves girls, their looks, their boobs, scorn Singaporean girls and use a photo to show his stranger friend and laugh at how ugly some of his friends are;

That he loves clubbing, and travels to other countries just to enjoy nightlife n clubs;

That his ideal wife is someone who can take care of herself independently and hot enough for him to fuck;

That he's an urban dweller who stays only hotel n won't settle for hostel nor motel:

That he breaks promises and thereafter think frantically of ways to amend them, without realising that what's said and done cannot be undone.

He shares with me about his experiences v enthusiastically. Guess its due to his American culture upbringing. Gets a bit uncomfortable hearing him blabber some mean stuff.

After some time, I started to accept these behaviors which I advocate strongly against, as part of the differences. These differences define his character. They made him, him.

I reached a stage where I can predict his behaviour, he's not difficult to predict in the first place.

I placed my attention on the traits that impresses me: that he can be very decisive n resolute cause he cares less - a trait that gives birth to innovative ideas sometime.

Too bad his egoistic nature impedes him from accepting my differences.

That I spend time and efforts on community work, he thinks its a waste of time n that time should only be spent on making money;

That when I travel for sceneries, one-of-a-kind experiences, cultural exchange, to him time could be better spent on parties, clubs and alcohols.

Sometimes he would rather treat than share food, he doesn't like sharing, very protective of himself. Somehow it reeks of arrogance from the rich.

I think I sacrificed a lot of principles this travel -

I think when a pair travels, both should appreciate the route of both parties n learn to enjoy, not to be picky n avoid each others travels. Time alone might b good sometimes, but when we split so distinctly, there's no fulfilment in travelling together.

But pls, don't promise to go on the same route as me just to oblige n show your appreciation in me being a travel guarantor. I'm uncomfortable with people doing what they don't just to please people.

I think TM has got a lot to learn to build long-time friendships with people. Friendships purely built on giving-and-taking and mutual benefits are not relationships, they are transactions.

看看别人，想想自己

16岁，成绩差于一般，从快捷班调到普通学术班，沉迷于漂亮名车，却不曾考虑下苦功争取。还把零用钱挥霍于名牌包包。
 25岁，换了数次工作，每份不呆久，曾半工半读，但也都半途而废。交了几任女朋友，未曾持久，或开花结果。或成长。

 活生生的例子，真真正正的在以一日过一日、得过且过、毫无为未来做打算的人物出现在我周围。人生短短几十年，现在不好好为自己奋斗、进步，回首时，将会充满遗憾。白日梦很迷人，但实现它更精彩。

 真的不要在蹉跎岁月了。

 卖土料。

守候妈妈

老弟说他带老妈到滨海湾水坝走走散散心。赶紧收拾一下功课搭德士。

乘着车穿梭新加坡的万家灯火，我提起手机播放mp3。刚好是顺子的『回家』。

“回～家，回～家，我须～要你。
回～家，回～家 ，马上～来我的身边。。。”

小时候妈妈风雨不改守着我，如今妈妈正经历难熬时期，更须要我们陪在她身边。

我一定会。

Chairperson, CE Club 14th MC

I must say Kean has been a short-sighted leader.

I now understand why there's no structure in the Club, why Kean has to do so much, and why people feel belonged to the Club. I think Kean has devoted too much time in solving pressing problems that he neglected the operations of the Club in the long run. If he only focuses on solving problems in the current Management Committee, chances are there won't be a proper handing over to the next MC, or worse still create more problems for subsequent MCs.

I was really shocked at how Kean prioritise his personal relationships over the objectives of the Club. I reminded Edric to take ownership of the projects under his portfolio, but yet Kean sought understanding from me to cut him some slack due to his poor academic performance and thus the need to devote more time on studies. You know, I think since you have made a commitment to the Club, the basic expectation is to be professional and take ownership of your portfolio, without much reminders. This expectation is regardless of your external commitments. You have to manage your time. Moreover, in this case, Edric suffered poor academic performance due to "having played too much" and his lack of focus in school work, plus his time spent with his girlfriend. I see no reason why he should neglect Club commitments due to reasons as such, and no logic why the Club should suffer from such a Vice-Chairperson. Kean doesn't seem to understand the amt of work we have to do this semester so that the next committee doesnt suffer, doesn't seem to understand how constrained our existing manpower are (4 EXCO members, 1 declared inability to be fully committed at the start of semester ie. Kean, and 1 pleading for more time to make up for his negligence of studies), and doesn't seem to understand that organisation objectives should take priority.

Kean has a good relationship with Prof Somsak, perhaps too good I would say. Prof Somsak is pushing for the 2 Clubs to merge, and Kean seems supportive. I am not supportive, because the 2 Clubs have way different directions and Club culture, a forced merger will dilute the attention for respective cohort. Kean refuted me and said "if we don't merge, how are we going to have the manpower to organise Club activities?" I was really taken aback by this statement. I replied "The 2 clubs have different objectives. I dont think we should merge just because we have logistical constraints like lack of manpower." I think merger is like marriage - a couple should marry 'cause they share the same life values, not because they want to give birth to babies and do their part in increasing the population! This mentality is simply not a sustainable approach for the Club to go on. Kean's eagerness to merge seem to be another problem-solving approach to curb manpower reduction in the Club.

C'mon Kean, it is not the quantity that really matters, it's the quality of people. And to train people so that they are ready to taken on their jobscope, is the responsibility of the Club, or particularly the Chairperson.

I recall those incidences when Kean chairs our Club meetings. Very active participation from him, very little involvement of the rest of the members. Most of the time, he pointed out a very valid problem, and he attempts to offer a quick solution on the spot. There's very little inputs garnered from the committee. Deciding on something and getting inputs from your members will not offer you more perspectives than getting your members to discuss and decide on something before having inputs from the higher appointment holders. Differences in perspectives is a valuable resources that should be utilised to their max potential, but Kean doesnt seem to practise it as often as he should. When the members don't have a stake in the decision making, they don't feel involved, and eventually, they just won't bother anymore. Suddenly, my mind flashed the scene when Kean said he preferred to work with girls 'cause girls are more easy-going and follow his decision. He preferred to work with guys lesser 'cause guys are more determined on their own ideas and argue more. He has yet to realise the importance of having differences in ideas and perspectives which are so crucial in identifying blind spots and iterating a project towards perfection. He commented himself that "I'm a good leader". I feel that he just can't see his shortcomings.

Stop being so short-sighted in leading, there's much more important directions to head towards than solving the current problems. A student Club should be passed on properly from batch to batch, there should be an overlap in the leaderships from MC to MC, but Kean has totally no preparations for this. I think it's selfish that a Chairperson only focuses on tiding over current problems.

Kean asked me before, to work for him after my scholarship bond. I told him to just keep in touch after graduation and we'll see how it goes. But now, I guess I can firmly say that, sorry, thanks for your offer, not until you've seen how far you are away from being a visionary leader.

缺氧的避风港

我很努力地让妈妈知道，年过二十二的孩及须要父母给予属于自己的空间和时间。少了这两者，家仍然是避风港，不过是个缺氧的地方。

我在家的卧室是第一个缺氧的空间。年过二十二，卧室依旧和父母共享，我睡双层床上头、老妈睡下头，老爸在另张单层的。我常晚睡，上床前常被老妈念着问不早睡还在干嘛之类的寒暄话，不然就是猫头鹰般盯着我开衣厨拿衣服进浴室关门洗澡(出来后继续督促我早睡)。我想我晚睡的习惯影响老妈，但要共用卧室，非我所愿。倘若是关心的表现，我常认为这种关心是种压抑。难道我这年龄层的生活作息时间还得听令别人？

第二个缺氧的，是自己的时间。我在家时，老妈常乐于早餐能吃得丰盛些且无须单独泡面啃面包喝三合一。真好，陪老妈吃早餐。早餐后，我打算上网干自己活儿去，而老妈就会积极脑筋激荡想午餐吃什么，然后拉我到超市买菜。买完后，我立刻帮老妈整理，和准备午餐。午餐后，准备做自己在学期时无暇做的事(如自学法文)，老妈就会叫我帮忙拖地。其实，这类准备三餐温胞肚子做家务的惬意生活也挺好的，不过我还没有退休的打算呐。我有大把大把把的理想和抱袱要实现，所以我在家时务必要有自已的时间。但老妈似乎有个错误观念说只要我在家我就是闲着的。唉。。。

二姨通个电话来，说我对妈妈说话的语气重了点，还劝说有事要好好跟妈妈说。我可是从两年前大学开始时就努力让妈妈知道成长中的我须要自己的空间和时间，但都徒劳无功。觉得老妈太坚持我是永远长不大的孩子，很难改变这想法。

唉。。。

小学老师的至理名言

大学备考期间，妥托了同样在备考的中学同学替我转交一件物品。在和他汇合之前，正临午餐时段，他托我打包了两份云吞面给他和朋友。

和他见面时，只见他一身憔悴，步伐蹣跚，是拖着脚跟从图书馆走出来的。寒暄之下，才了解到他已濒临极限，念书能量接近耗竭，脑细胞快死了一半。一般大学生备考期间的写照，唉。

回到宿舍后，不一会儿，收到他的简讯，说声谢谢打包，不然他就饿死。我回复，提醒他要善待自己多一些，坚持多一下就可熬出一片春天。我很惊喜收到他的回应：

“ 只有不怕荆棘的登山者;不怕巨浪的弄潮儿，才能觅得珍果，采得珍珠。同学们，加油吧! ”

好熟悉的勉励志！我不费一会儿的功夫番查记忆录，便惊觉那是中二华文老师江老师在课堂上引用过的至理名言。瞬间内，我脑海浮现我们小五华文潘老师[小五小六时，朋友也和我同班]曾传授的一句：“不经一番寒彻骨，哪有梅花扑鼻香”。我在后头多添上“加油加油”，发给了朋友。简讯传出后，心里仍有一丝暖意余存。

这时，我抬头，看着窗上帖满了形形色色的励志名言，是这学期以来的累积。精简的、感性的、 中英皆有 ，但就没一句对我的正面影响像梅花香如此的深而远。不论中学、高中、兵役或大学，梅花香都在我意识和非意识下提醒我坚持和煎熬的价值。追溯一番，这句名言跟了我也有十二年之久吧。

没想到过了几轮四季转换，小学老师的至理名言仍荡漾在我生活中。我一直相信小学老师的影响是任重道远，还果真发生在我身上呢。