我妈是位超级传统的母亲，乐于为孩子定时准备三餐，勤于料理家务，盼于孩子十年寒窗苦读后能方为人上人。我妈并不要求我在考试中有特别优异的成绩，只会在三叮咛要注心点[注]。
记得小四分流那年我常熬夜赶拖欠的功课，或念书。家里没书房，所以便习惯在厨房开张折叠桌子，打盏桌灯埋头苦读。睡房虽关上门，但老妈总会感应到厨房里的我仍然开着夜车。有好几回，老妈都会起身，来到厨房唠叨一番，说什么“活该不早点念书，现在才临时抱佛脚”。我都会耍点幼稚的脾气，回应她不要管我，再不耐烦地催她去睡。过后呢，苦口婆心的老妈还是静了下来，然后坐在阿公的黑椅上，静静地看着我把书念完。我小四的夜晚多半都是这么过。
就有一那么回，老妈就静静坐在那儿一阵子后，便徐徐的起身从厨房墙柜上取出一瓶白兰氏鸡精。在我埋头无视四周的当儿，老妈开了热水，等到沸腾时，把那瓶白兰氏鸡精浸泡在内。夜晚静谧环境，老妈走路时发出的脚筋声特别响。
“那”，丛书山抬头一看，老妈递了过来热热的白兰氏鸡精。“快快喝下去。”那时候的白兰氏鸡精算是非常珍贵的补品，老妈惟有到了我们考试期间才会弄热给我们喝。而在我还没尝到那鸡精之前，我似乎已经尝到冬夜旭日之暖意了。
如今，我在念大学。为了想省下学校和家来回的时间，我住进了校园宿舍，每周末都会抽空回家一次和老妈吃早餐，在星期天早晨。不过上星期，我告知老妈为了专心应付考试，也许接下来两三周都不会回家。我记得当时老妈只以一声“啊。。。酱啊”回应着。
不过，我今天还是回了家，因为安排了为大哥庆生。也没时间留得太久，吃完老妈煮的干炒冬粉切了蛋糕后，便准备要回校园了。临走前，老妈连忙走到我面前，把一个打了结的红色塑料袋交给我。里头装了四瓶白兰氏鸡精，整齐的排着。“拿，喝了过后就不会那么累。”老妈的白兰氏鸡精总在我精神萎靡时给我打气。“记得弄烧后才喝。”好，我会的。谢谢老妈。
这么多年了，老妈还是送上那白兰氏鸡精，为即将考试的我给予精神上的鼓励。令我联想到古代书生为考取状元而须远离家乡的前夕，与母亲离别的那一幕。老妈那一惯的关怀方式，我会好好珍藏的。
我爱我妈妈。
妈妈我爱你。=D
[注]词典里根本没有“注心”这一词儿，是老妈参杂了广东福建中文后的口语，意思类似于“注意”和“专心”的结合。除了这发明词儿，“临时抱佛脚”也是老妈的口头禅，尤其用在我这夜车爱好者身上。
2011年11月9日星期三
2011年10月11日星期二
2011年8月12日星期五
这一股强烈的动力
有股强烈的冲动，想为团体、社会、世界贡献。顽强地认为自己只要抱以热忱和坚持就能达成所愿。
须要组队、说服队友、争取信任、同时做个勤奋的好学生考取好成绩尽力把CAP拉上。哈，又再拿学业来冒险了。
那么尽心地我为人人，是为了什么?其实，我从不为这些动力找理由。只是在萌起这些想法的当时，想付诸于行动，不然错过了恐怕会酿成终生遗憾。而且，在为他人服务时，我感受到我人生的价值。
也是对自己的一种挑战，施行那么 重大的计划，必定不容易。我行吗?不勇于尝试的话，我永远不会知道。
完全没做过的事情…前头不只茫然一片，而且会很孤独。无法想的孤独，我仍然经得起，毕竟，我出生时就已经是个习惯孤单的内向儿。不过，我知道，在进行这些计划时，我将渐渐塑造不同层面的我。我将会比现在更精彩！
就如正在演唱的《爱是永恒》，我想向世界宣布我要做的一切一切。有谁来加入我的行列！?
须要组队、说服队友、争取信任、同时做个勤奋的好学生考取好成绩尽力把CAP拉上。哈，又再拿学业来冒险了。
那么尽心地我为人人，是为了什么?其实，我从不为这些动力找理由。只是在萌起这些想法的当时，想付诸于行动，不然错过了恐怕会酿成终生遗憾。而且，在为他人服务时，我感受到我人生的价值。
也是对自己的一种挑战，施行那么 重大的计划，必定不容易。我行吗?不勇于尝试的话，我永远不会知道。
完全没做过的事情…前头不只茫然一片，而且会很孤独。无法想的孤独，我仍然经得起，毕竟，我出生时就已经是个习惯孤单的内向儿。不过，我知道，在进行这些计划时，我将渐渐塑造不同层面的我。我将会比现在更精彩！
就如正在演唱的《爱是永恒》，我想向世界宣布我要做的一切一切。有谁来加入我的行列！?
放心让孩子坐飞机
回返新加坡的客机上，听见某前排有个婴孩大声说话，后方也有名婴孩在哇哇乱语。飞机开始起动引擎时，后排的小孩乐开了怀说道：“飞机飞咯～”。看似蛮享受乘机的小孩。
不料，当飞机真正离地起飞时，乘客座位如常轻微地震动，不一会儿，从后方传来的却是小孩的哭声。还听见他大喊：“我怕…！我不要坐…！”依东方人多礼的风气且怕防碍到他人的心态，小孩的家长应该是尴尬不已吧。
其实，我蛮敬佩该家长的勇气的。想必他早已预料到孩子会大哭干扰到飞机上所有的乘客。他大可选择旅行时不携带那么年幼的孩童，避孩童哭闹所惹来的尴尬场面。该家长则选择克服这种担忧，选择携带孩子一同体验乘机的感觉。况且，不论是出外工干或旅游，携带孩子必定碰上不便之处。家长为照料孩子而牺牲了自己的享乐，可嘉。
从小就让孩子跟着外出，让他自小就踏出避风港，觉得是件有益于成长的体验。自小就让孩子踏出安逸环境，接触家庭以外的世界，让他感觉到踏出去的这一步并不可怕。就算会畏缩，也是成长中必经之路。给孩子坐在靠窗的坐，看着飞机起飞的模样，让他觉得踏出去的这一步是如此的精彩、好玩。就算有畏惧，也是可以放开双手去迎接的。
起飞后半个小时，小孩的号啕仍持续着。机上没有任何乘客为此大发雷霆或向家长投长冷言泠语。内心是否有在暗骂就不得而知。但没有外界的施压，家长就可更放心让孩子乘机体验成长了。
不料，当飞机真正离地起飞时，乘客座位如常轻微地震动，不一会儿，从后方传来的却是小孩的哭声。还听见他大喊：“我怕…！我不要坐…！”依东方人多礼的风气且怕防碍到他人的心态，小孩的家长应该是尴尬不已吧。
其实，我蛮敬佩该家长的勇气的。想必他早已预料到孩子会大哭干扰到飞机上所有的乘客。他大可选择旅行时不携带那么年幼的孩童，避孩童哭闹所惹来的尴尬场面。该家长则选择克服这种担忧，选择携带孩子一同体验乘机的感觉。况且，不论是出外工干或旅游，携带孩子必定碰上不便之处。家长为照料孩子而牺牲了自己的享乐，可嘉。
从小就让孩子跟着外出，让他自小就踏出避风港，觉得是件有益于成长的体验。自小就让孩子踏出安逸环境，接触家庭以外的世界，让他感觉到踏出去的这一步并不可怕。就算会畏缩，也是成长中必经之路。给孩子坐在靠窗的坐，看着飞机起飞的模样，让他觉得踏出去的这一步是如此的精彩、好玩。就算有畏惧，也是可以放开双手去迎接的。
起飞后半个小时，小孩的号啕仍持续着。机上没有任何乘客为此大发雷霆或向家长投长冷言泠语。内心是否有在暗骂就不得而知。但没有外界的施压，家长就可更放心让孩子乘机体验成长了。
成长的空间
成长的空间是别人施予的，还是自己争取的？
我开始有自己独立的想法，开始主宰我生活中的每一个环节。我开始认为过往照顾我的方式是对我一种束缚。
我觉得问我手机另一端是谁，是干涉我的私人空间。我不喜欢妈妈敝过头来看我手机内容，纵使她根本读不懂任何内容。
但我不会一味地为悍卫自己的隐私而向妈妈反抗。成长归成长，但不能让自己长成一个乳嗅未干的兔崽子。
于是，我问她：”妈，你在担心什么？“
我的猜测是妈妈的特别监督是出自于一份顾虑，担心我因为不同于兄弟，在某种程度上少了坚定和自信，单飞到社会后容易遭红尘世俗明争暗斗的推挤而被排斥。其实，我自认为我的坚定和自信是属柔中带刚。也许我的这类先柔后刚不足以让妈妈对我自顾能力有充分的信心。
“我长大了，靠着自己争取的奖学金念大学，我已经会照顾自己了。。。你到底在担心我什么？“妈妈直摇头，只回复个“没有啦。。。”试图让我的好奇心自我引退。妈妈眼眶这时开始泛红。我继续打破砂锅问到底，若不问出个所以然，、恐怕我永远也无法了解妈妈了。
不料，妈妈却对着我，说道：“你最了解我了。”
我怎么了解妈妈呢?我疑惑。不过，我尝试去了解妈妈流的眼泪背后的含意。
孩子要求多一些成长空间，也就同等母亲在孩子的生活中须多退一步。诚如成长风筝论，绳线如果拉得太紧，容易扯断；放得太松，风筝容易飞失。现介段的我，想飞得更高看得更远，要求母亲在绳线上给予多些松弛。可这难免意味着母亲见我的次数和频率将减少。妈妈也许是不舍风筝离开她的视线，才会顿时感触良多吧。
我开始有自己独立的想法，开始主宰我生活中的每一个环节。我开始认为过往照顾我的方式是对我一种束缚。
我觉得问我手机另一端是谁，是干涉我的私人空间。我不喜欢妈妈敝过头来看我手机内容，纵使她根本读不懂任何内容。
但我不会一味地为悍卫自己的隐私而向妈妈反抗。成长归成长，但不能让自己长成一个乳嗅未干的兔崽子。
于是，我问她：”妈，你在担心什么？“
我的猜测是妈妈的特别监督是出自于一份顾虑，担心我因为不同于兄弟，在某种程度上少了坚定和自信，单飞到社会后容易遭红尘世俗明争暗斗的推挤而被排斥。其实，我自认为我的坚定和自信是属柔中带刚。也许我的这类先柔后刚不足以让妈妈对我自顾能力有充分的信心。
“我长大了，靠着自己争取的奖学金念大学，我已经会照顾自己了。。。你到底在担心我什么？“妈妈直摇头，只回复个“没有啦。。。”试图让我的好奇心自我引退。妈妈眼眶这时开始泛红。我继续打破砂锅问到底，若不问出个所以然，、恐怕我永远也无法了解妈妈了。
不料，妈妈却对着我，说道：“你最了解我了。”
我怎么了解妈妈呢?我疑惑。不过，我尝试去了解妈妈流的眼泪背后的含意。
孩子要求多一些成长空间，也就同等母亲在孩子的生活中须多退一步。诚如成长风筝论，绳线如果拉得太紧，容易扯断；放得太松，风筝容易飞失。现介段的我，想飞得更高看得更远，要求母亲在绳线上给予多些松弛。可这难免意味着母亲见我的次数和频率将减少。妈妈也许是不舍风筝离开她的视线，才会顿时感触良多吧。
2011年7月1日星期五
Reflections after one month Intern @ DTL1 PMN
DTL1 PMN faces a few construction constraints - existing high rise structures in the vicinity, various utility diversions required, close proximity to existing CCL PMN station. Amazed by how the construction team managed to these problems in their stride and work around these problems - hacking existing pillars to make space for micropiling, application of additives to the marine clay to smoothen excavation process...to name a few.
Technical challenges aside, I'm sure i'll be able to grasp a good hold of them when I work my way up from a junior engineer. What I'm more concerned about is where I see myself standing at if I am staying in LTA for a pong long time. Do I see myself as a key personnel in the management, or do I see myself as a technical specialist like tunnel expert PCK?
I start by reviewing some of the memorable moments during my past month here, and I realise them to be the various progress meetings, instrumentation meetings, coordination meetings, and of course the post meeting sharing with Dave and Ed. I think no matter where I go, I want to be improving the working relationship of everyone (bottom-up and top-down). Would management be the way for me then? Probably not. Management always feel very distant from me. I would prefer to be closer to the ground and managing a smaller team more directly and closely. AndI suppose, if I want to revolutionalise certain stereotypical working relationships in LTA (or any other public sector - which are often labelled inflexible, one-way communication due to hierachy, uncreative and not open to ideas and changes...), I would need to develop myself such that I can be part of a strong voice to speak up for the people on the ground and voice out their sentiments. I feel that this is a strong calling I have for myself, ever since young...to be an effective communicator or peacemaker who works towards communicating happiness between two.parties.
So why choose the field of civil engineering to effect such a change? I was directed here by my passion. To build something enormous via the physics way of dealing with design. And therefore, to be able to fulfil my calling here, first and foremost, I have to gear up myself with the excellent qualities of an engineer working on the ground. Only then can I springboard myself to the bridge connecting us to the management.
To effect a positive change.
Technical challenges aside, I'm sure i'll be able to grasp a good hold of them when I work my way up from a junior engineer. What I'm more concerned about is where I see myself standing at if I am staying in LTA for a pong long time. Do I see myself as a key personnel in the management, or do I see myself as a technical specialist like tunnel expert PCK?
I start by reviewing some of the memorable moments during my past month here, and I realise them to be the various progress meetings, instrumentation meetings, coordination meetings, and of course the post meeting sharing with Dave and Ed. I think no matter where I go, I want to be improving the working relationship of everyone (bottom-up and top-down). Would management be the way for me then? Probably not. Management always feel very distant from me. I would prefer to be closer to the ground and managing a smaller team more directly and closely. AndI suppose, if I want to revolutionalise certain stereotypical working relationships in LTA (or any other public sector - which are often labelled inflexible, one-way communication due to hierachy, uncreative and not open to ideas and changes...), I would need to develop myself such that I can be part of a strong voice to speak up for the people on the ground and voice out their sentiments. I feel that this is a strong calling I have for myself, ever since young...to be an effective communicator or peacemaker who works towards communicating happiness between two.parties.
So why choose the field of civil engineering to effect such a change? I was directed here by my passion. To build something enormous via the physics way of dealing with design. And therefore, to be able to fulfil my calling here, first and foremost, I have to gear up myself with the excellent qualities of an engineer working on the ground. Only then can I springboard myself to the bridge connecting us to the management.
To effect a positive change.
2011年6月24日星期五
A letter to Project Manager
Dear Edwin,
Is it lonely being the PM sometimes? Being the only one pushing for progress of the project even though this should be the collective effort of everyone in the team.
I've seen how your engineers communicate the importance of progress to the contractor during meeting. Sometimes, I get the feeling that the engineers are doing the PM a favour by pushing for progress. Should this be the case? If taking ownership of machineries, equipments and personal safety and everything under your purview is what we always preach to the contractors and the workers, shouldn't we, as engineers of the developer, take ownership of progress monitoring and push for it like we would push ourselves to study hard when we were students?
Comparatively, I've seen your inspectors onsite. Even though they're not as directly responsible for pushing progress as the main contractors themselves should, but they show higher responsibility and ownership over the progress. In the absence of the main contractors onsite to push for progress onsite, they are the ones who talk to the sub-contractors, find out the reasons for delays, give suggestions to reduce delays and increase productivity. What they coordinate onsite might not effect a change as impactful as the decisions concluded during meetings among the managers and engineers, but the fact remains - they make things happen.
Is the difference in the amount of ownership shown attributed to the nature of the jobscope, or is it passion that dilutes over the years? I'm referring to the passion of watching a structure built up over the years. Somehow, it feels to me the inspectors are more connected to civil works and construction. My first conversations with them are memorable as they recollected the various civil projects they were involved in and the remarkable things about each projects. As for the engineers, the sharing remains shallowly at the number of years spent at previous companies and perhaps some reasons why they decided to move onto next companies.
I dare not say I'm extremely passionate about civil and construction works. But since I've followed my initial passion and chosen this path, I'm all ready to make sure I make a positive impact to the project that I'm going to handle.
Yours sincerely,
KA
(P.S. I must bear in mind that regardless of age or jobscope, I must have in myself that something which I believe in to keep me going.)
Is it lonely being the PM sometimes? Being the only one pushing for progress of the project even though this should be the collective effort of everyone in the team.
I've seen how your engineers communicate the importance of progress to the contractor during meeting. Sometimes, I get the feeling that the engineers are doing the PM a favour by pushing for progress. Should this be the case? If taking ownership of machineries, equipments and personal safety and everything under your purview is what we always preach to the contractors and the workers, shouldn't we, as engineers of the developer, take ownership of progress monitoring and push for it like we would push ourselves to study hard when we were students?
Comparatively, I've seen your inspectors onsite. Even though they're not as directly responsible for pushing progress as the main contractors themselves should, but they show higher responsibility and ownership over the progress. In the absence of the main contractors onsite to push for progress onsite, they are the ones who talk to the sub-contractors, find out the reasons for delays, give suggestions to reduce delays and increase productivity. What they coordinate onsite might not effect a change as impactful as the decisions concluded during meetings among the managers and engineers, but the fact remains - they make things happen.
Is the difference in the amount of ownership shown attributed to the nature of the jobscope, or is it passion that dilutes over the years? I'm referring to the passion of watching a structure built up over the years. Somehow, it feels to me the inspectors are more connected to civil works and construction. My first conversations with them are memorable as they recollected the various civil projects they were involved in and the remarkable things about each projects. As for the engineers, the sharing remains shallowly at the number of years spent at previous companies and perhaps some reasons why they decided to move onto next companies.
I dare not say I'm extremely passionate about civil and construction works. But since I've followed my initial passion and chosen this path, I'm all ready to make sure I make a positive impact to the project that I'm going to handle.
Yours sincerely,
KA
(P.S. I must bear in mind that regardless of age or jobscope, I must have in myself that something which I believe in to keep me going.)
2011年6月19日星期日
2011年4月2日星期六
2011年2月5日星期六
2011年1月20日星期四
永久房客
永久房客
搬进新家后，我就告诉自己，这个新家并不属于我。
我非常羡慕老二小弟能拥有一个空间让他们好好布置，装潢典雅，还有酒吧式桌椅，邀个亲朋好友来饮酒have fun，根本不成问题。我也非常羡慕老大终于有个像样的房间好好放置他的双人床，终于能大大方方在属于自己的房间和女朋友共睡一床。
我也羡慕自己，虽然没有空间让我发挥布置房间的想象力，虽然是与老爸老妈睡在同一房间，但我拥有一间大厕所，忙完一天卧在里头上大号、看早报、读i周刊，是我的小小避风港。虽是三人住，但庆幸是主人房。我也喜欢房间空旷的地板，等待老妈洗完澡的当儿，我这懒骨头儿就会躺在地板上，四肢张开，那瞬间的松弛可谓在服兵役出外冲山之余坐在草地上小睡片刻。
但整间新家，我最喜欢的角落，正是二哥分配给我和大哥的阳台式办公处。喜欢早晨起床，跑到那阳台，玩一玩哑铃活动筋骨；享受午间时候，家里头静谧，能聚精会神温习功课；最爱晚间时分，坐在窗前，处理公事的当儿有微微晚风轻拂我脸颊，格外提神。纵然老爸在傍晚扭开电视后，多了份杂音，难免干扰，不过晚风似乎能使我克服这一切。
我喜欢这一片属于我和大哥的空间。只有一台电脑，我的书柜，一张午休圆桌，其余都是自由空间。真好，我长了这么大，终于有个空间让我好好在家里温习功课了。
今天回来后，自由空间在我毫不知情之下被小弟的办公桌侵略了。我就来到客厅，愣了一下，看着那群非常熟悉的家具和电脑，却又感觉他们所在处非常陌生，问了小弟：
“哇，what's this？你的workstation不是在你房间的meh?”
“orh 因为二哥每次都吵我晚上工作的时候吵到他，so就把东西全部搬下来。”
“then 你没有先通知我和大哥？我们常常用到这个地方做功课的咧。”
“。。。”
“不是说好这个地方是我和大哥做的咯？”
“。。。”
“家里不止是你和二哥住的咧。”
“。。。”
我想小弟不会有任何歉意，更加不会有迁移的打算。出发点是为了二哥的舒适，又怎么会因我而动摇？
顿时觉得在我和小弟之间冒出相当大的距离。怎么和前几天的感觉那么相似？几天前的我还告诉自己不能依赖兄弟的帮忙，凡事靠自己，才不会欠他们人情。今天，小弟就摆出那么不尊敬的行为，似乎试图划清我与他的关系。
算了吧，既然小弟一直梦想着拥有自己的办公桌，我就成全他吧。只是，虽然这份成全是心有意愿，行动却绝非自愿。要扩大大家的空间，总得有人腾出自己的空间吧。
我想我没有任何权力维护自己的空间，虽然二哥清清楚楚把这空间分配给了我和大哥。毕竟，他义无反顾抗下供房子的庞大责任，是最大股东，我连一分钱都没贡献，哪来说话余地？他还拒绝我付出的用意，说是要等我毕业后赚钱再说。我真的很不喜欢以钱、权、利和势等职场语言坦然自己感受，但在二哥的领导下，我们就是走上了这条路。感觉一点也不温馨，自从萌起搬家的念头后，我根本不觉得自己参与其中。只觉得自己的看法和感受是防碍二哥所谓宏远大志的阻墙。人是搬了家，但心却没搬。
我还是可以快快乐乐住在这新家。把自己的观点改一改，把自己看成永久房客，寄宿在NKL的家，好在我无须偿还水电费和也不必供房子。将来我开始全职后才贡献我应该的，就当成是偿还现在的房租吧。
搬进新家后，我就告诉自己，这个新家并不属于我。
我非常羡慕老二小弟能拥有一个空间让他们好好布置，装潢典雅，还有酒吧式桌椅，邀个亲朋好友来饮酒have fun，根本不成问题。我也非常羡慕老大终于有个像样的房间好好放置他的双人床，终于能大大方方在属于自己的房间和女朋友共睡一床。
我也羡慕自己，虽然没有空间让我发挥布置房间的想象力，虽然是与老爸老妈睡在同一房间，但我拥有一间大厕所，忙完一天卧在里头上大号、看早报、读i周刊，是我的小小避风港。虽是三人住，但庆幸是主人房。我也喜欢房间空旷的地板，等待老妈洗完澡的当儿，我这懒骨头儿就会躺在地板上，四肢张开，那瞬间的松弛可谓在服兵役出外冲山之余坐在草地上小睡片刻。
但整间新家，我最喜欢的角落，正是二哥分配给我和大哥的阳台式办公处。喜欢早晨起床，跑到那阳台，玩一玩哑铃活动筋骨；享受午间时候，家里头静谧，能聚精会神温习功课；最爱晚间时分，坐在窗前，处理公事的当儿有微微晚风轻拂我脸颊，格外提神。纵然老爸在傍晚扭开电视后，多了份杂音，难免干扰，不过晚风似乎能使我克服这一切。
我喜欢这一片属于我和大哥的空间。只有一台电脑，我的书柜，一张午休圆桌，其余都是自由空间。真好，我长了这么大，终于有个空间让我好好在家里温习功课了。
今天回来后，自由空间在我毫不知情之下被小弟的办公桌侵略了。我就来到客厅，愣了一下，看着那群非常熟悉的家具和电脑，却又感觉他们所在处非常陌生，问了小弟：
“哇，what's this？你的workstation不是在你房间的meh?”
“orh 因为二哥每次都吵我晚上工作的时候吵到他，so就把东西全部搬下来。”
“then 你没有先通知我和大哥？我们常常用到这个地方做功课的咧。”
“。。。”
“不是说好这个地方是我和大哥做的咯？”
“。。。”
“家里不止是你和二哥住的咧。”
“。。。”
我想小弟不会有任何歉意，更加不会有迁移的打算。出发点是为了二哥的舒适，又怎么会因我而动摇？
顿时觉得在我和小弟之间冒出相当大的距离。怎么和前几天的感觉那么相似？几天前的我还告诉自己不能依赖兄弟的帮忙，凡事靠自己，才不会欠他们人情。今天，小弟就摆出那么不尊敬的行为，似乎试图划清我与他的关系。
算了吧，既然小弟一直梦想着拥有自己的办公桌，我就成全他吧。只是，虽然这份成全是心有意愿，行动却绝非自愿。要扩大大家的空间，总得有人腾出自己的空间吧。
我想我没有任何权力维护自己的空间，虽然二哥清清楚楚把这空间分配给了我和大哥。毕竟，他义无反顾抗下供房子的庞大责任，是最大股东，我连一分钱都没贡献，哪来说话余地？他还拒绝我付出的用意，说是要等我毕业后赚钱再说。我真的很不喜欢以钱、权、利和势等职场语言坦然自己感受，但在二哥的领导下，我们就是走上了这条路。感觉一点也不温馨，自从萌起搬家的念头后，我根本不觉得自己参与其中。只觉得自己的看法和感受是防碍二哥所谓宏远大志的阻墙。人是搬了家，但心却没搬。
我还是可以快快乐乐住在这新家。把自己的观点改一改，把自己看成永久房客，寄宿在NKL的家，好在我无须偿还水电费和也不必供房子。将来我开始全职后才贡献我应该的，就当成是偿还现在的房租吧。
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